up or down- i cannot say

If you are reading this :
It’s because I ‘ve gone to the other side
‘there is no elevator around , so I don’t
Know if I’ve gone up or down!
But I am seeing some forms through a cloudy mist
Is it family members that I have missed ? – or is it the ghouls from hell s past
Ready and waiting to grab my ass !
Is that the grim reaper all dressed in black ?
With a sickle tied to his back.
Isn’t that Saint Peter walking by his side , and his wings he’s trying to hide.
It doesn’t matter which one is coming after me
I have walked with both you see !
If I go up , I’ll be with the ones I love
And if I go down below – I won’t be singing ho-ho-ho.
Regrets ! I always said I would have none
Decisions I’ve made can not be undone.
Women in my life – I had my share
But when it came to my love- none can compare.
To the women in my family with my love I’d share
I grew up feeling forlorn and rejected by my fellow man
And people I spoke with did not understand.
People all around me and I still felt by myself
Looking for acceptance from others including
My family of sisters and brothers.
I had seen so much death during my childhood years
That I learned to accept it and not to fear.
A five year old girl who drowned in the Indian Lake,
A superintendent killing another one over a broom
A junkie overdosing with a needle in his arm
It became like living on a death farm.
Joining street gangs just to survive and on each other we did rely.
Seeing the hypocrisy in so many faces and of them
Waiting for the sneak attack to put the knife in your back.
So I created my own philosophy of : “ friends I don’t have any
Acquaintances many .”
Joined the Army to get away cause in New York I could not stay.
Left at the induction center by my so called friends
Who would go in when my tour was at the end .
They was going to “NAM” when I was back in the states
They should have gone in with me , but now it’s too late
A couple came back but they were never the same
They themselves are the ones to blame.
I disassociated myself from every one that I knew
( what was I supposed to do ? )
The 60 s was a bad time with civil unrest
And Vietnam putting us to a test.
Many were moving to Canada to avoid the draft
In hopes that the war would not last.
We now had flower power , hippies and acid to get high
And Woodstock became the pie in the sky.
All you could see for miles around , was pup tents and vans , and
People getting down.
Girls having sex where ever you would go
Even with people that they didn’t know.
Hippie communes were being created , by drugged
Out minds that were devastated.
Am I writing this , before I am dead or are
These the thoughts stuck in my head ?
© L , RAMS 032616

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One thought on “up or down- i cannot say

  1. Pingback: up or down- i cannot say | My Blog

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